When I was pregnant with my first, I spent a lot of time thinking about what I'd pack for hospital, what I might need and making sure I had some cute baby outfits for when my son was born. What I didn't think enough about was the environment I'd actually be labouring in, or how much that environment, and the people and tools within it, would shape how I coped and my labour would go.
By my second birth, I'd learned a lot about protecting my birth space, having support options available and inviting people into your space that you truly want there. So I want to share some of that with you here, because I think it's one of the most overlooked parts of birth prep.
Choosing a birth environment that you feel safe in
As women we get to choose where we want to birth our babies, and for some this is in the hospital because they feel safest knowing they are in a place where medical support can be provided if needed or traveling to hospital from home is a bit of a distance, for others the birth centre feels a little more like home, a middle ground between the comfort of home and the reassurance of a clinical setting, and for others their home is exactly where they want to be, surrounded by a familiar environment, their own things and a place that provides calm.
No environment is better than the other, it is about what feels right ‘for you’. Choosing somewhere that lets you feel safe enough to actually let go and labour, because that sense of safety isn't just emotional, it genuinely affects how your body is able to work through the dance of birth.
Your birth team matters
With my first born, my birth team was my husband and whoever was on shift, kind and caring midwives but not ones that knew me. With my second I had my husband, best friend and beautiful midwife that got to know me over the 9 month pregnancy period. All knew my birth wishes, preferences and how I wanted to be supported and comforted when contractions became intense.
The support was steady, loving and I never had to explain how I was feeling. Think about your birth team, the same way you think about your birth bag.
- Who do you want there?
- What do you need from them?
- Do they know how to support you, physically and emotionally without you having to ask?
- Can they support you in moments where birth pushes you to your limits?
For some this may a midwife and doula. For others it may be there birth partner who’s taken the time to prepare, to learn some comfort techniques, and know how to support when it matters most.
Birth Tools, what are they and do they actually help?
I went into my first birth a little naive, I wanted an unmedicated birth and all I had was a labour massage oil and TENS machine for contraction relief. This got me through a long labour but had I known about the other birth tools that I used in my second birth, it would have been a different experience.
Something to hold onto.
During my second birth, I held a wooden birth comb through every
contraction. It sounds so simple, but having something physical to squeeze in my hands shifted my breathing and got my mind to focus on the sensation of the tooth combs pushing into my palms.
This action of acupressure triggers the Gate Control theory of pain, blocking and reducing pain signals from reaching your brain. Both our Wooden Birth Comb and Acupressure Birth Orbs support women in birth to reduce the pain and feeling of contractions, focusing on the sensory stimuli of what they are squeezing in their hands.
Something to move with.
Staying upright and mobile, swaying, leaning over my birth ball, or just changing positions, made a noticeable difference to how I coped with the intensity of each wave. If labour is slowing down, position changes are also great, every 30 minutes.
Something to calm the mind.
A calming essential oil blend, rolled onto my wrists between contractions, gave me a moment to pause and reset. It's a small thing, but in the middle of labour, small things matter more than you'd expect. I also had my partner voice encouraging words from birth affirmations I had pinned up around my space. This helped me to keep going.
Something for physical comfort.
Massage, from my partner and best friend on the lower back was soothing and eased tension, something I relied on and made a difference. They used a massage oil that had peppermint in it, this was cooling and felt beautiful.
What I'd Tell You Now
If you're pregnant right now and feeling overwhelmed by everything you're "supposed" to prepare, firstly you are not alone, there is a lot of overwhelm out there. Here’s what I've genuinely learned across two very different births:
You don't need to have it all figured out, or every item on a recommended list. What you do need is a birth environment that feels like yours, a team who knows how to support you without you having to explain yourself mid-contraction, and a handful of tools that help you feel calm, confident, and physically supported.
Preparing for birth isn't about controlling every outcome, we all know birth is unpredictable, but it’s about giving yourself the best possible chance to feel supported through whatever happens, in the space you're in, with the people around you, and the small tools that help you get through the
moments that matter most.
You have got this mama, this is your body, your birth and your baby.
About the Author
Nicole Etter is the founder of Cosy Mama. A New Zealand created brand wanting to support expecting women to find their own cosy way to motherhood, and providing the option of natural tools for an empowered and supported birth.
Learn more here
